Every year, thousands of young graduates
… add up to the hundreds of thousands of young people in search for a job. Moreover, their training does not correspond, for the most part, to the needs of their countries. The competition is all the harder: for example, 23 000 candidates for 1000 places at recruitment competitions in the Beninese army.
Finding a job can very quickly turn into an obstacle course. But nature being well done, everyone does not necessarily want to invest in this mission. It is much easier to accuse some village aunty, corruption, authorities’ incapacity, nepotism, regionalism, etc. (scratch what is true). So, if you prefer complaining about your unemployment,
… here are 5 foolproof tips to stay idle and unemployed.
Tip 1: Look for work only when you need it
The first thing you need to do to avoid getting a job is, not preparing the job hunt and wait until the last moment when you need it. There is indeed no point predicting what could happen after graduation. What is the point of a professional project? Why would the context and national issues matter?
It’s not like hundreds of students are graduating from law, management or administration schools etc. It is absolutely useless to keep good relations with teachers even if they are, for many, consultants, entrepreneurs, officials and could introduce or even facilitate applications.
What’s the use of trying to diversify your knowledge through online courses, reading pedagogical books? All this is for the weak.
Tip 2: Use the Internet only for entertainment
Thanks to your hard-earned mobile data package, you can only go to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, send messages on WhatsApp, Viber, and so on Nothing else. When you are young, and job seeker, MTN, Orange or Moov block access to FREE online courses websites, and to professional social networks (LinkedIn, Viadeo) … right?
Moreover, the family doctor strongly advised against using the Internet to cultivate (apart from conspiracy sites – unless it is sexual pedagogy of course). Otherwise, you may end up as the aunt-in-law’s nephew to your father’s cousin. The latter, through online training had been able to improve his knowledge, and find work. How horrible!
Tip 3: Mess up your initial contact
Despite your envious idle unemployed status, a job offer has managed to win you over. To keep 0 luck on your side, you decide to send your application. But for good measure, you pick one of the following methods:
- Making spelling mistakes: we are in the 21st century, your language has evolved. It’s not up to you to write it correctly but to the recruiter to adapt to your way of speaking it.
- Sending only your resume, literally. No need for a message. The recruiter wants CVs. Here is a resume, make do with that!
- Not having any skills required: a Community Manager is requested, but you have a geology career. You send your CV anyway. It is not your problem, it’s the recruiter’s problem!
- Making a cocktail from the above-mentioned methods.
Tip 4: Messing up your interview
Nevertheless, the recruiter calls you. Such daring! But you are determined not to get a job. No way for you to prepare the interview, to learn about the job, about the company. Besides, you will arrive late, without any excuses.
You will not take any note and you will not ask the recruiter any questions. And if the recruiter insists on recruiting you, just ask for a very high salary. You need the latest iPhone which will of course only cost a third of your salary.
There you are! Follow these tips carefully for a life of unemployment. There is no point trying to differentiate positively from the hundreds of millions of young Africans looking for work. It is much more enjoyable to complain and find scapegoats. If you are unemployed, it is entirely others’ fault. Especially that of the aunt from village.
Voilà, voilà ! Suivez scrupuleusement ces astuces pour une vie de chômeur. Il ne sert à rien d’essayer de se différencier positivement par rapport aux centaines de millions de jeunes Africains qui cherchent du boulot. C’est beaucoup plus jouissif de se plaindre et de trouver des boucs-émissaires. Si vous êtes au chômage, c’est entièrement de la faute des autres. Surtout celle de la tante du village.
Tip 05: Not sharing this article. ?
?